March 7, 2014

Our humanity sucks.  Can we just admit that?  I don’t mean that God’s intention for humanity sucks.  And I don’t mean that He made a mistake or anything.  I just mean there’s battle between what my weak flesh wants and what God wants and they’re constantly pulling me in two different directions.

My flesh wants to be lazy and serve only myself.  I don’t want to be faithful.  I don’t want to put effort into the relationship I have with Him.  I don’t want to worry about the seemingly petty things the Spirit convicts me of.

But my spirit longs so ardently for His love and warmth.  What I truly want, in my heart of hearts, is to be close to Him and rest in His presence.  His tenderness is enough to make me stop caring about anything else in this life.  It sounds stupid if you can’t relate but it honestly feels like He’s all you’ll ever need.

It’s so frustrating to have these two desires vying for my attention.  It’s like watching siblings argue.  It just gets under my skin and eats away at me, nagging and biting.

My addiction to God and my addiction to myself are two magnets being forced together at the same ends.

And in the midst of the war, the battle cries, and the bloody wounds raging on inside of me God seems to stop time, draw my attention in on Him, and speak very softly to my heart saying,

“Be still and know that I am God.”

It’s then that I can collapse in His arms and rest in His everlasting love.  It’s there that my soul finds peace and everything makes sense again.  It’s there that I feel like I can take on the world and my trying circumstances seem so minute and simple.

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I’ve come to realize that God’s faithfulness is truly the only thing that keeps me going.  Without Him, I am utterly miserable, dirty, and lonely, and I think that is one of the most important things that anyone can come to understand.

God is love.  And because He is love, He is peace, He is joy, He is comfort, He is contentment, He is fulfillment.

“…we are weak but He is strong.” And I’m so thankful He is.

Because of Him,

Brent Hemphill

P.S.

Also, if you’re just now joining my journey then please know that I will not be on Facebook during my time of consecration so any messages or requests you may have sent will not be responded to for quite some time.  It’s not personal, it’s Jesus.

You can purchase Nazirite DNA here: https://store.ihopkc.org/nazirite-dna-book/dp/2188.

You can also get the free audiobook here: http://www.thecall.com/Groups/1000080325/TheCall/Free/Free.aspx

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