December 12, 2013

Throughout the past eleven months that I have been a Nazirite, I have experienced a lot of loneliness.  I have lived by myself, just Gizmo (my cat) and I.  I love my alone time because I am an introvert by nature.  But, I have experienced loneliness in a new way than before because I cannot participate in many social activities.  Many times it is difficult to spend time with friends because we can do almost nothing but talk, though that is a favorite of mine too.

Please know I’m not complaining, this time has been worth it by far.  I only say this because it was my original inspiration to share about community.   My alone time has been beneficial, but it has been difficult as well.

Being alone long-term is heavy.

But feeling alone in the midst of people you love is unbearable.

A few months back I felt like I should talk about the importance of community.  What ever the reason is that I didn’t, I’m glad.  As of this past week, I have a far more thorough understanding of just how utterly essential it is that we love, care, and serve one another than ever before.  Please, let me share some of what I’ve learned.

On December 1, 2013 a very close friend and brother took his own life.  I have no words that would accurately express the entirety of what I feel or think about that.  It has been a very dark time in the lives of my friends and I.

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But, for the sake of understanding, if not but a little, think of someone you know that inspires you and brings you comfort in being who you were created to be.  Someone stable, driven, and loving.  Someone who gives what he has freely because he loves freely.  That’s some of what this person was for myself and many, many others.  Now imagine that person deciding they can’t take it anymore.  Doesn’t make sense, does it?

I think through the list of my circle of friends, those I have influence with, and I don’t see any of them as being in danger of trying to leave this life.  Not one.  But what absolutely terrifies me is that I didn’t see that in my friend either.  If a man such as he can be pushed that far into hopelessness then so can you; so can I.

I won’t try to explain the why’s.  Ultimately, only my friend truly knows.  But I do know that he had a lot of very heavy things on his plate and he didn’t allow anyone in; he didn’t let anything out.  He tried to do everything himself.  He loved his community more than anything, but he had a hard time being loved by us.

Now, I can’t help but feel an irrefutable commission to make my life about love and teaching others what it really means to love and be loved.  I’m not a very good example of that sometimes, but know that that is my mission.  No one should ever have to resort to that kind of escape.

I miss my friend a lot.  I wish he were here for a lot of reasons.  If any of us had known how much he hurt, we would have done something; we would have done anything.  We would have come together in love and helped carry his burdens, whatever that looks like.  Please, don’t allow yourself to withhold love.  But even more importantly, don’t allow yourself to withstand love.  Ask for help.  Ask for love.  We want to serve you and walk through this life with you.  I only beg you so adamantly because I am here in the midst of what happens when you don’t.

God Himself lives in constant community.  When it came to redeeming humanity, He had to ask His son to help Him.  What makes you think you don’t need us?  I know I need you and there’s no shame in that.

John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another,

even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

By this all men will know that you are My disciples,

if you have love for one another.”

Because of Him,

Brent Hemphill

P.S.

~~Plans have changed at the last minute concerning the ministry I will be working with in Nashville.  I will be working with the same people but in a different capacity.  If you would still like to help support me during this time it would be greatly appreciated.  Every little bit helps.  Please visit http://one-church.ws/online-giving/ and click “Donate.”  From there just type my name, Brent Hemphill, in the purpose line.  This way I am helped by your generosity and you are helped on your taxes!  I will try to give you more information concerning my activities in Nashville in the future when I have the details nailed down a little bit better.  Thank you for your patience!~~

I do apologize for the tardiness of this post.  In case you haven’t pieced it together, I’ve been a bit distracted with the events I mentioned above.  Thanks for understanding!

Also, If you’re just now joining my journey then please know that I will not be on Facebook during my time of consecration so any messages or requests you may have sent will not be responded to for quite some time.  It’s not personal, it’s Jesus.

You can purchase Nazirite DNA here: https://store.ihopkc.org/nazirite-dna-book/dp/2188.

You can also get the free audiobook here: http://www.thecall.com/Groups/1000080325/TheCall/Free/Free.aspx

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